


Suicide Season

by Hela_Dreamer



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Betrayal, Character Death, Drug Abuse, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Major Character Injury, Reader-Interactive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 07:31:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13072110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hela_Dreamer/pseuds/Hela_Dreamer
Summary: “ We stare at broken clocks, the hands don't turn anymoreThe days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty placesThe day you lost him, I slowly lost you tooFor when he died, he took a part of you “Jensen Ackles was happy with his life, thank you very much.At the age of 26, he was already a famous actor, he had various roles as a protagonist in different TV shows, owned a huge villa in Texas and an amazing car he loved to ride.





	Suicide Season

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd.  
> All mistakes are mine.  
> As usual, sorry for my bad english.  
> Also, really, REALLY short story.

_“ We stare at broken clocks, the hands don't turn anymore The days turn into nights, empty hearts and empty places The day you lost him, I slowly lost you too For when he died, he took a part of you “ \- Bring me the Horizon, Suicide Season_

Jensen Ackles was happy with his life, thank you very much.  
At the age of 26, he was already a famous actor, he had various roles as a protagonist in different TV shows, owned a huge villa in Texas and an amazing car he loved to ride. 

Jensen Ackles is happy with his life. Outside.  
Inside, he is slowly dying.  
At the age of 26, he didn’t find his soul mate yet.  
It’s common knowledge that your soul mate can be your neighbor, your classmate, or someone who lives in another state, country, or on the other side of the globe.  
It is also common knowledge that if you didn’t find your soul mate at the age of 20, there is a 99% of probability that he lives far, far away from you, and that you’ll probably never find it.

Jensen Ackles is happy with his life. Outside. Almost.  
Sometimes, during the panels he attends, his mask of happiness cracks a bit.  
Inside, he is slowly dying.  
At the age of 26, he is living a life that doesn’t seem his own, doing everything that someone else is telling him to do, following a schedule he has no chance to choose, nor change, that someone else prepared for him.  
He is travelling across the world thanks to his job as an actor, but he is travelling alone, his soul mate somewhere in the globe, waiting for him to show up, probably dying a bit inside as well.

Jensen Ackles is happy with his life. Outside. Almost. But everyone knows it’s a lie.  
Every time he is shooting a scene, his face shows his torment, his desperation, he doesn’t seem to be able to put on a mask anymore.  
Sometimes, during the panels he attends, his mask of happiness cracks a bit.  
Inside, he is slowly dying.  
At the age of 26, he is feeling hopeless. He knows he is destined to live his life alone, and, because of the life as an actor that he choose to live, he condemned the love of his life to live completely alone, forever, as well.  
At the age of 26, he started drinking. At least, he can forget. Forget for a second that someone around the globe is waiting for him, dreaming about him, and that they will never meet.

Jensen Ackles is not happy with his life.  
At the age of 27, he stopped working.  
He closed the rest of the world outside the door of the hotel room he is currently renting, drinking and swallowing anti-depressant as if they were candies.  
No one cared.  
He knows it.  
No one cared about how he felt.  
He asked his manager for a break. A three moths break to travel and try to find his mate.  
He said no. He said that Jensen choose to live without a mate, that when he signed his contract as an actor he knew he was giving away that part of his life, and he had no intention to try and help him. “ You can live without a soul mate “ he said, even though he found his beautiful soul mate when he was only 16.  
“ A lot of people are living their lives and going on without a mate “ he said, omitting the fact that who was living without a mate were people walking through the streets like automatons, that the state was using them as slaves because they couldn’t feel anything no more, because they were dead inside. 

Jensen Ackles wasn’t happy with his life.  
Every one knew it, but no one really cared about it, until this moment.  
At the age of 27, he took his life, already dead inside, even though no one noticed.  
Suddenly, every one cares.  
Every one is trying to cover the fact that they forced him to do it, swearing they didn’t knew it, otherwise they would’ve done something, even if they didn’t. But no one has to know, obviously. 

***

Jared Padalecki was happy with his life.  
At the age of 20, he was working on a pub in London, with amazing co-workers who genuinely cared about him, and he was completing his degree in one of the most famous university in his country. He hadn’t found his mate yet, but he had hope he would find him, sooner or later. His mama taught him the values of patience and hope, and he always followed those two rules.  
That his, until the day he felt a part of his soul being ripped apart.  
It was so painful he could swear he was dying, and he actually did. At least, a part of him died.  
It was the 18th of December, 2017, when the television announced that the famous actor Jensen Ackles committed suicide in an hotel room, at the age of 27.  
It was the 18th of December, 2017, when Jared Padalecki ceased to be human, becoming an automaton, a machine with no feeling. Soulless.  
It was the 18th of December, 2017, when Jared Padalecki ceased to live, becoming a machine, a slave of the world he once loved to live in. 

***

And you, that are reading this, have you found your soul mate yet? Mine died yesterday.  
He died on the 18th of December, 2017, and it destroyed me.  
He left me alone in this world of lies and betrayal, of pain and slavery.  
He left me alone to live, but I’m not sure I can do it anymore.  
What would you do, if you were in place? What would you do, if you had nothing left to live for? What would you do if the world suddenly turned black for you?

_What would you do, if your soul mate died?_

\- To Kim Jonghyun, April, 8th 1990 – December, 18th 2017

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to Kim Jonghyun, who passed away yesterday, 18th of December 2017, my inspiration, the one who helped me going through my depression and who died because of his.


End file.
